Being ill sucks. God damn it how it sucks. This post is about how and why being ill sucks, so if you don't want to read whine-whine-rage-whine (without cheese)
Since my brain isn't working properly because of fever, sneezing and coughing, I can't really get anything done, not work nor art. (Been trying to get over with a piece of writing I was supposed to do for Mer, but there is no detectable activity in my brain.) (And there is always work.)
I also look like crap, which is not really rare for me. It's just that I usually don't care about my looks, but whenever I'm ill, especially if it's flu, I become terribly self-conscious, because I start looking like I have been crying for hours (or days) and then someone smacked me in the middle of the face.
In addition to looking crap, I feel crap. Most of it is because being physically ill makes me restless. For some reason when my body aches everywhere, the logical outcome for my brain is not to lie still and wait for it to go away. No, I can't stay still for two hours straight without getting the urge to do something else I am doing, or change position, or find another spot in the room. Sadly, I can't do this every time I want to, because it persuades through the night and I don't want to wake Marc up, and most of the time I feel very weak, not being always able to move.
Marc has been very sweet, constantly asking me if I want tea or if I need anything. A big part of me is like...
"Are you implying I'm too weak to get tea for myself? Are you implying I need help? Huh? Huh?"
... but the biggest part of me tells the inner voice above to stfu, because I do need help when I'm ill. If I tried managing cooking, I'd figure that I'm good for working as well, and if I tried to work, I'd end up passing out. That would make my drinking of tea a lot harder. So I'll just swallow my pride and "okay".
Aaand, so that life would not be too easy, it brings about another problem that occurred last autumn around my hospital incident. I was too weak to even sit up myself, and Marc stayed by my bed like a loyal dog. I hated not being able to take care of myself, and constantly asked if he hated me because I was being a burden. This doesn't really differ all that much.
Managed to start Rin's arc at least. The part where Rin wants to find Emi at the end of the first chapter always gets me laughing.