Friday, March 30, 2012

All sorts of lost

I thought I lost my PSP.

I was going through my luggage, thinking that I'd bang some Patapon 2 action before going to sleep, but it wasn't where I thought I put it was. My heart skipped a beat when I double-checked all my belongings and didn't find it from anywhere. Okay, maybe I forgot it to the place I first stayed overnight at (there have been quite a few of these, fortunately now they managed to install me to one place). Quick SMS ensured that this was the case. Thank god. But I didn't really feel completely at ease before I got it back to my hands this morning.

So. Luxembourg.

Epic castles, awesome people, many languages. I thought that I would manage just with my less-than-tolerable French, but it appears that I have spoken more German here than my "je parle ne francais" and "merci" in French. People are really nice, especially the people I work with. Starting to think of them as my second family any day now. The language barrier is just a bit there, but reading books on my own language (you know what, I'll just come out of the closet and admit that I have some Montgomery with me here, the girl I am) and writing a journal in English helps. Also, my Director speaks really good English, so I have no trouble with expressing my thoughts and emotions around him.

Heimweh? Of course I feel slightly homesick, especially when I realized that I miss Marc a lot more than I thought I would. Funny old thing called love, I guess. It's sneaking under my skin any moment now. I've noticed  that almost anything in here can remind me about him: white anemones, blue sky, a certain hue of morning mist. During those moments I just usually put my journal, computer, book, whatever it is I happen to be holding, down and just stare at the ceiling.

Stupidstupidstupid.

I'm not really sure if I want to fall in love. Like, completely and finally and totally giving in every wall of defense I've so far held to keep myself from getting safe. (Yes, I am, indeed, a coward sometimes.) But sometimes it feels like I really don't have a choice! Time will show I guess.

I also started reading Katawa Shoujo again. Right now, I'm starting to form a habit of running in the mornings - and managed to keep it up throughout this week.

This has really helped me to keep track of my running.

My goal is to run for 30 minutes straight by the start of the summer holiday. So far I just need to form a firm routine.

And so far I'm feeling all sorts of lost in here. But I guess it will pass.

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